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Old Father Ryan was a priest, that's true
But he like his whisky and women too
And he washed his sins in the laundromat
Where each Friday night you could find him sat.

Old Father Ryan was brand new
He never had a drink if he could have two
And when he got scared by a poltergeist
He called on the Lord screaming, "Jesus Christ!"

Old Father Ryan liked to dip his wick
He knew all the moves, he knew every trick
And the women of the Parish used to tut and say
"That another one of Father Ryan's on the way."